Monday, July 19, 2010

Independence

If there is one thing I've learned throughout my 17 years of life, it is that you should depend mostly, if not totally, upon yourself.
I've always been a pretty independent person, but I guess that's what is bound to happen when you have younger brother born a year after you. Not that I was neglected or anything, but I guess I just seemed to understand that I wouldn't always have help and needed to help myself. But as time continued, I began to rely on people more and more.
I used to rely on others for quite a few things: to help me with something, to be there for me, and even to make me happy. Now that I think about it, it seems so naive of me to do that. I should have just done it myself and saved myself from being mad or upset for someone not being there or helping. After friends slowly started slipping and people gradually stopped being there for me, I started finding out that I was the only person I could rely on.
Now, trying to only rely on myself, I've been happier. Not saying that people will never help me, or that I never want them to help, but I'm just done expecting it. It's kind of like not hoping for something good to happen, and it doesn't happen; the outcome may not seem as bad as if you would've hoped for it. Similarly, unexpected help is much appreciated and welcome, but I won't be too upset if it doesn't happen.
And if that happens, if nobody ends up helping me or being there for me, I'm confident that things will be okay and I'll be happy.

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