My feelings are tearing me apart.

There are so many things tearing me apart right now.

I hate when people get a big head, or want all the credit, or are a bitch for no reason. I don't understand it. Why can't you just be happy? Why can't you like people? Yeah, I don't like many people, or show affection or whatever, but I care for them. That might not make sense to anyone else, but I care for everyone, I just don't like them for the choices they make. But why do you blow up on them? Then you wonder why people don't like you. Isn't it obvious?
I hate when people only want the benefit of things. I do help, and I let you take the credit for everything. It pisses me off beyond belief, and I wish you'd stop taking advantage of me since I'm supposed to be your "friend."
I hate the fact that I may move down in my class. I will feel like a complete failure. I just wish I could hold my spot, but I'm not sure how promising that is. I guess I'll just have to accept it if it happens.
I hate that I can't make anybody happy. I just feel like nobody cares anymore. I can't do anything right and I just upset everyone.
I wish I could commit to one person, but my feelings are always changing. I like girls who give me the slightest bit of attention, and it's pathetic. I get these random spurts of feelings for people, but I'm always scared that they'll go away so I never try, I never try to restore what once was.
I had a dream about you today and I miss you so much. It was so nice, in that dream, where we talked again. I woke up with a sensation of happiness, just at the thought of talking to you. I miss you terribly. I'm so sorry.


Where is my head anymore? Why can't I just stop being so sad. It's so annoying, but I can't help it. I'll fix it, I hope. I hope that this will all get better soon. I'm sorry for wasting this space on the internet since I know that nobody is going to read this, and the slight chance that somebody does, I'm sorry for wasting your time. I really am.