Monday, February 7, 2011
It's just
When your illusion of things gets shattered, you become this depressed being. Everything sucks to you and nothing feels good anymore. You kind of just lose faith in people and you start to question yourself. It just makes me feel like shit.
Epiphany # 1
I'm a pessimist. This isn't the epiphany that just happened to me, but I am a pessimist. But what I just realized is that I'm a grateful pessimist. A realist pessimist, maybe. I'm not sure.
For instance, I do see things in a negative light. Well, not really the negative, but for what they are, and in all honesty, I don't think things are all that great. But I see the glass half-empty. But the contents that fill up half of this glass, well, I am thankful for them. I don't believe this puts me in the category as an optimist, but I do believe it puts me above being a pessimist, in a way. I look at the downside of things, but appreciate that my glass is at least half-full.
Maybe you think I'm an optimist. Or maybe this doesn't make sense to you. Or maybe you just think I'm crazy. Whatever.
For instance, I do see things in a negative light. Well, not really the negative, but for what they are, and in all honesty, I don't think things are all that great. But I see the glass half-empty. But the contents that fill up half of this glass, well, I am thankful for them. I don't believe this puts me in the category as an optimist, but I do believe it puts me above being a pessimist, in a way. I look at the downside of things, but appreciate that my glass is at least half-full.
Maybe you think I'm an optimist. Or maybe this doesn't make sense to you. Or maybe you just think I'm crazy. Whatever.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Sometimes, peoples' disregard towards other people is too much.
I understand, I really do. I'm sorry. Only 7 months.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
My feelings are tearing me apart.
There are so many things tearing me apart right now.
I hate when people get a big head, or want all the credit, or are a bitch for no reason. I don't understand it. Why can't you just be happy? Why can't you like people? Yeah, I don't like many people, or show affection or whatever, but I care for them. That might not make sense to anyone else, but I care for everyone, I just don't like them for the choices they make. But why do you blow up on them? Then you wonder why people don't like you. Isn't it obvious?
I hate when people only want the benefit of things. I do help, and I let you take the credit for everything. It pisses me off beyond belief, and I wish you'd stop taking advantage of me since I'm supposed to be your "friend."
I hate the fact that I may move down in my class. I will feel like a complete failure. I just wish I could hold my spot, but I'm not sure how promising that is. I guess I'll just have to accept it if it happens.
I hate that I can't make anybody happy. I just feel like nobody cares anymore. I can't do anything right and I just upset everyone.
I wish I could commit to one person, but my feelings are always changing. I like girls who give me the slightest bit of attention, and it's pathetic. I get these random spurts of feelings for people, but I'm always scared that they'll go away so I never try, I never try to restore what once was.
I had a dream about you today and I miss you so much. It was so nice, in that dream, where we talked again. I woke up with a sensation of happiness, just at the thought of talking to you. I miss you terribly. I'm so sorry.
Where is my head anymore? Why can't I just stop being so sad. It's so annoying, but I can't help it. I'll fix it, I hope. I hope that this will all get better soon. I'm sorry for wasting this space on the internet since I know that nobody is going to read this, and the slight chance that somebody does, I'm sorry for wasting your time. I really am.
I hate when people get a big head, or want all the credit, or are a bitch for no reason. I don't understand it. Why can't you just be happy? Why can't you like people? Yeah, I don't like many people, or show affection or whatever, but I care for them. That might not make sense to anyone else, but I care for everyone, I just don't like them for the choices they make. But why do you blow up on them? Then you wonder why people don't like you. Isn't it obvious?
I hate when people only want the benefit of things. I do help, and I let you take the credit for everything. It pisses me off beyond belief, and I wish you'd stop taking advantage of me since I'm supposed to be your "friend."
I hate the fact that I may move down in my class. I will feel like a complete failure. I just wish I could hold my spot, but I'm not sure how promising that is. I guess I'll just have to accept it if it happens.
I hate that I can't make anybody happy. I just feel like nobody cares anymore. I can't do anything right and I just upset everyone.
I wish I could commit to one person, but my feelings are always changing. I like girls who give me the slightest bit of attention, and it's pathetic. I get these random spurts of feelings for people, but I'm always scared that they'll go away so I never try, I never try to restore what once was.
I had a dream about you today and I miss you so much. It was so nice, in that dream, where we talked again. I woke up with a sensation of happiness, just at the thought of talking to you. I miss you terribly. I'm so sorry.
Where is my head anymore? Why can't I just stop being so sad. It's so annoying, but I can't help it. I'll fix it, I hope. I hope that this will all get better soon. I'm sorry for wasting this space on the internet since I know that nobody is going to read this, and the slight chance that somebody does, I'm sorry for wasting your time. I really am.
What are you doing with your life again?
Oh yeah, I forgot, nothing.
Start critiquing me when you grow the fuck up.
Start critiquing me when you grow the fuck up.
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