Since You've Been Gone

Since you've been gone, I've changed, a lot.

Since you've been gone, I've become more sure of myself. I'm now confident in things that I do. I now try harder at everything rather than relying on talent or on skill. I am able to formulate my own opinions about issues and argue them. I try not to be nicer to people and help them. I'm not as embarrassing, haha, or at least I don't think so. I've lost a few of the friends I thought would remain throughout high school. Life, even.

Since you've been gone, I've come out of my shell a little bit. I'm more outgoing. I laugh louder and more often. I think things through even more.

If you could see me now, you'd see that I'm still shy, but am trying to change it. You'd see that I'm still the same awkward boy as before. You'd see that I still like a lot of the same music, although I listen to a lot of different stuff as well. You'd see that I wouldn't be afraid to tell you how I feel

Since you've been gone, I've missed you.

Choices

It's weird to get inspired by a comic, but it just happened to me.

I was reading a comic called "Choices," which is a five-part comic, and I liked it a lot. The part I liked most was when this was said:

Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they're doing. Do things without knowing how they'll turn out.

This part of the comic has made me realize something: doing the same thing all the time, never being spontaneous, never changing it up, is extremely bland. I need to do new things, meet new people. Don't get me wrong, I like my friends and I enjoy the time spent with them, but I want to get more out of life than just being with the same circle of friends doing the same thing all of the time. I need to change it up a bit.

You can read the comic here.

Independence

If there is one thing I've learned throughout my 17 years of life, it is that you should depend mostly, if not totally, upon yourself.
I've always been a pretty independent person, but I guess that's what is bound to happen when you have younger brother born a year after you. Not that I was neglected or anything, but I guess I just seemed to understand that I wouldn't always have help and needed to help myself. But as time continued, I began to rely on people more and more.
I used to rely on others for quite a few things: to help me with something, to be there for me, and even to make me happy. Now that I think about it, it seems so naive of me to do that. I should have just done it myself and saved myself from being mad or upset for someone not being there or helping. After friends slowly started slipping and people gradually stopped being there for me, I started finding out that I was the only person I could rely on.
Now, trying to only rely on myself, I've been happier. Not saying that people will never help me, or that I never want them to help, but I'm just done expecting it. It's kind of like not hoping for something good to happen, and it doesn't happen; the outcome may not seem as bad as if you would've hoped for it. Similarly, unexpected help is much appreciated and welcome, but I won't be too upset if it doesn't happen.
And if that happens, if nobody ends up helping me or being there for me, I'm confident that things will be okay and I'll be happy.

Note To Self:

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

Don't get your hopes up.

I really hope it happens.

A Few Things On My Mind

One: Don't waste my time. If you're in Marching Band and it's such a pain, get out. We don't want you, and we sure don't need you, either. Many people see your Facebook statuses that always have some sort of negative tone towards Marching Band and, honestly, if it's that big of a chore, leave. We'd be much better off without you.

Two: I hate sloppy, trashy people. Posting things on Myspace/Twitter/Facebook that say you're "high," "trashed," "fucked up," or "drunk as fuck" is not appealing at all. Yeah, your friends may not care, and some others as well, but it makes you look so disgusting. I instantly lose respect for people who carry on about things like that. You're scum. Grow up.

Three: What makes number two even better is when the people who are posting these statuses claim to be Christian and love God more than anything. I don't believe in God, but I don't do that stuff. Kudos for continuously contradicting yourself.

Four: Even though I haven't been too happy lately, I'm optimistic that things will get better. And that is my new Half-years resolution. Be happier. I've been too hard on myself this year and I've been unhappy a lot. From here on out, I'm going to be happier and more optimistic.

Five: I miss you.

I Feel Like I Have Things To Say

But I'm drawing a b l a n k...

If I Were A

If I were a dog, I'd be a German Shepherd.

If I were a song, I'd be Konstantine.

If I were a movie, I'd be Little Miss Sunshine.

If I were a fast food place, I'd be Taco Bell.

If I were a car, I'd be an Impala.

If I were a sport, I'd be basketball.

If I were a time, I'd want to be 12:34.

If I were an actor, I'd be Steve Carrell.

If I were a color, I'd be red.

If I were a day of the week, I'd be Friday.

If I were a month, I'd be October.

If I were an instrument, I'd be a piano.

If I were a school subject, I'd be English.

If I were a word, I'd be Hi.

If I were a book, I'd be The Perks of Being A Wallflower.

My Life, As of Now, In Less Than 100 Words...

Marching band just started. I'm Section Leader. The music is challenging, but I'm pushing my section to memorize and learn the music now! I hangout with Haleigh and Crystal almost every night. I've hungout with Katie a couple times and it reminds me of last summer, which I love. Fourth of July was fun. We had about 500 bottle rockets and various others. I got my saxophone fixed today. Things are crazy, but I enjoy it. But best of all, life is good.

P.S. Nicole is cool.

Happiness

These things make me happy:

Being with my friends, drinking coffee, driving around, Marching Band, achieving goals, high grades, Taco Bell, honesty, nice people, funny people, pianos, Little Miss Sunshine, teaching myself things, teachers who I can talk to, second chances, learning from mistakes, acoustic guitars, making music, reminiscing, playing pool, laughing until you cry, Detroit, compliments, Paramore, songs that remind you of fun times, playing basketball, saxophones, Toms shoes, best friend bracelets, basketball shorts, writing, English class, traveling, playgrounds, American Apparel hoodies, filming things, trying to learn trumpet, indie films, iPods, wanting to be a musician, director, writer and graphic designer when I'm older, and things happening the way I plan them.