Happiness

These things make me happy:

Being with my friends, drinking coffee, driving around, Marching Band, achieving goals, high grades, Taco Bell, honesty, nice people, funny people, pianos, Little Miss Sunshine, teaching myself things, teachers who I can talk to, second chances, learning from mistakes, acoustic guitars, making music, reminiscing, playing pool, laughing until you cry, Detroit, compliments, Paramore, songs that remind you of fun times, playing basketball, saxophones, Toms shoes, best friend bracelets, basketball shorts, writing, English class, traveling, playgrounds, American Apparel hoodies, filming things, trying to learn trumpet, indie films, iPods, wanting to be a musician, director, writer and graphic designer when I'm older, and things happening the way I plan them.

A Special Thank You

Lately, I have given up on humanity. I've been focusing on the bad that people do: how greedy they are, how they corrupt themselves, as well as others, and how they, simply, suck. But one small event completely changed me.

On June 26, after spending all day at Crystal's graduation party, Haleigh and I stayed the night at Crystal's house and had a few sparklers and decided to go sit out in Crystal's front yard. We started burning the sparkler boxes and sort of created a small fire. As we sat there, a man in a St. Louis Cardinals hat, carrying a plastic grocery bag, approached us and started talking about how he used to light anthills on fire as a kid. As morbid as it was, we all found it kind of funny. The man decided to "sit for a minute by the fire" and continued talking to us.

He told us that his name was Robert, that his 81-year-old mother was dying of a brain tumor, and that he was homeless. You could tell that he had had a few drinks, but I found what he said to still be credible. He talked of his mother with great passion and you could tell he loved her, as the sound of his voice was delicate when he spoke of her. He told us stories and joked around with us. He told us of his experimenting with marijuana, but stopped when he saw that it made us uncomfortable. He told us about his faith in God, him going to Belleville (how he rode his bike all the way there and back), and his fortune that he got out of a fortune cookie, which talked of his opportunities expanding in the future. He decided he wanted to play his lucky numbers, on the rear of the fortune, in the lottery.

Not once did he ask for money. Not once did he ask for food. Not once did he ask for a place to stay. Not once did he ask for anything.

All he did was thank us for the time that we spent with him. He said that the laughing we all did, the jokes we told, the time we spent, was enough to let him escape his sad life and be happy. He said that that meant more to him than anything.

He restored my faith in humanity because he made me realize that not all people are mean, not all people want something from you, and not all people are looking for a reward. He made me realize that you don't need a bunch of things to be happy, and that laughing and spending time with people is enough to make you happy. He made me feel like we were such a big help to him, when, in reality, all we were, were 3 teenagers burning things on the side of the street.

Although we only talked for about 45 minutes, Robert changed my outlook on things, and has bettered me. It's something I will never forget.

Thank you Robert, I wish only the best for you.

Posted this by accident

Now, I feel like I must write something...

Everything is a mess.

I love it.

A Little Bit About Me...

I'm 17 and was born on April 8, 1993. I have yet to figure out what career I want to pursue when I get older. Something with music, movies, or books interest me the most, though. My best friend is my cousin. My birthday is 4/08 and hers is 8/04. I find that interesting. My ideal girl would be cute and intelligent with a sense of humor and she would play guitar and wear dresses. You can say that I'm shallow, but I just don't want to settle for anyone. My preferred drink is coffee, even though it tends to give me stomach aches. I get good grades, but I feel like I don't learn much, and most of what do I learn is on my own time, not in school. At about age 9, I started teaching myself how to play piano. I used to steal my older brother's work when he was in Kindergarten and, somehow, learned how to read when I was 3. I taught myself how to tie my shoes. The only reason don't enroll in online school is because I like band too much. I have a crush on Hayley Williams. I have a really good memory and feel creepy when I remember certain situations. I'm a very awkward person. I really enjoy Folk music. I'm a lot more outgoing than you probably think. I'm happy all of the time, despite the fact that a lot of things annoy me. I have very strange dreams. Like a lot of people, I want to make a difference in the world or impact people in a very dynamic way, and I won't be satisfied until I do.

My Views on Controversial Issues

Don't tell me that my beliefs are wrong because that makes you look like an idiot.

Abortion: I believe that women have the right to an abortion if they want/need one. I understand that a life would be killed in the process, but ultimately, its the woman's choice. And we could benefit from the stem cells collected after the abortion. Not saying that I would ever urge anyone to get an abortion, but I believe that abortion should always be an option.

Affirmative Action: I believe that affirmative action is such a stupid program. I believe that people who really want to go to college, or get a good job should motivate themselves to achieve their goals, not rely on programs to advance them in the world. It's really unfair to whites and takes away from the principle of 'equality of opportunity' that we have established in this country.

Capital Punishment: I believe that if you can prove that someone has intentionally killed someone else, or if the person admits to it, they should be killed.

Censorship: I believe that people should not be sheltered. Exposing people to things such as a violent video game, or a sexual book, exposes them to what the real world is like.

Drug Legalization: As much as I am an advocate for personal freedom, and we should be able to do whatever we want, this is one of the topics where I contradict myself and say that I don't think this should happen. I just hate seeing people corrupt themselves to a point where they're just scum of the earth, barely getting by. I'm not saying that everyone who does drugs is scum, I've just seen more people than not, start doing drugs, mainly smoking weed, and becoming such a low-life and a disgusting person.

Homosexuality: I believe that everyone has the right to be in love with and married to anybody that they want. Whether they're white, black, mexican, gay, straight, bi, cats, dogs, or whatever, they deserve to be with whoever they want and nobody has the right to take that away from them.

Sex Education: They're going to have to learn about it sometime; it might as well be in school.

Womens' Rights: Women are equal to men. Enough said.

Religion: My beliefs, personally, are that there is no God. I cannot seem to grasp the concept that some supreme being, who appeared out of nowhere, created everything with his magic-like powers. I can't seem to understand why, if he is such a great God, he punishes people on a daily basis. Or why he would accept a killer, if he was a Christian, but not a Saint, if you will, if he wasn't a Christian. I can't seem to give God credit for things that I've done. I've heard people say "God helped me..." or "God gave me the ability to..." Own up to your own actions! Take credit for what you've done! God didn't do anything for you; you did it for yourself! But, I don't believe in religion, itself. I don't like to categorize my thinking into a stupid group because I have my own different beliefs. I believe that the Earth was created in a scientific way, not a magical way, or by a man with odd powers. I believe that humans evolved from different species, not that they were just put here by a supreme being. I believe that I govern how my life will turn out and that I'm responsible for both my good actions as well as my bad and that God has nothing to do with any of it. I believe that religion is so corrupt that nobody knows the truth and we never will. I believe that religion is what humans cling to because they are scared of the unknown.

I thought I'd save the most controversial for last. Although my beliefs may be naive, and may be subject to change in the future, as of right now, I stand by these beliefs very strongly.

Too much.

I have so much to say and I'm not sure how to put it into words, but I'm going to try and give it a shot.

First off, Florida is in a day. I know people are probably going to get mad at me, but this won't be intentional on my part. I just want to be happy.Why can't people get along? I just want this trip to be good, that's all.

Second, I just recently got a GPA of 4.4000, causing me to move up to be ranked second in my class. I was ecstatic. I couldn't have been happier because I had worked my ass of this trimester and feel that I truly deserve it. Also, I got a 27 on my ACT. But with this success, if you will, brings other problems. I feel that I have to dumb myself down just so I can be sympathetic to others, and just so others won't be pissed at me. Why should I have to take credit away from myself just for you to feel satisfied? Why should I allow you to make me feel bad about my good grades? Just because you aren't satisfied with what you've done doesn't mean I should try and make it seem like I don't deserve what I got. And I'm done sympathizing from here on out. From now on, you can cheer yourselves up and motive yourselves.

Thirdly, don't think what you say isn't going to get back to me because, more likely than not, it will. The fact that you've said some of the things you did astonishes me because I've done nothing wrong to you. My grandpa died. I missed four days of school, is that so wrong? Yeah, my brother went to school, but that doesn't mean I had to. My parents okay'ed me everytime I asked to stay home. And no I don't think I'm trying to get away with anything and I'm not regretting missing those four days one bit. Why should I? I'm sorry for bragging, but I missed the limit of days last term, 6 days, go out every weekend with my friends, and even most school nights too, and still managed to get a 4.4000. Also, I did not study one bit for the ACT or for finals. So why should I regret missing four days when I'm independent, can learn on my own, and clearly, can manage myself? The fact that you think I'm so hopeless is crazy to me because, by now, I would've thought that I have proven myself. So next time you think of saying something about me that probably isn't nice, think of a few things: think of what you're saying, who you're saying it to, and if it is true or not.

Lastly, I'm done faking friendships and apologizing for everything that goes wrong in them. Friendships should not be stressful all of the time or have two people angry at each other constantly. A friendship, in my opinion, is one where happiness, (some) similar interests, and wanting to be together is involved. I'm done putting on a show and I'm done worrying about making sure all of my "friends" are happy. This has all been going on for too long and I'm putting it to an end. I know who stays true to me, for the most part, and I'm willing to stick by those people.

Even if nobody reads this, I feel that this was very worthwhile and needed to be put somewhere that wasn't in my head.